Once a year we are invited to the Army's 579th Engineering Ball - and there's no way you're showing up with some cocktail dress or something more mundane like 'work attire'. The invitation cites formal attire for civilians and of course, the military personnel must wear their dress uniforms which I'm sure isn't their favorite thing, but they all look great. I did find out that the female military chicks can wear gowns. Thank God! I mean, can you imagine standing next to some stunning Barbie doll of a chick while you are in the equivalent of a blue suit that is paired with a long, long, long skirt. No bling either, just your Army bling.
Not my idea of 'formal'. My husband always wears his dress blues - the nice uniform that they all wear to the Ball - so to him, it's another day at the office.
So, just like finding a wedding gown, the search for a formal ball gown or dress that would work for such an event is not only based on how many stores you search in or how many gowns you try on, but it's all about that special unspoken connection with the gown. I'm not kidding. It's either there or it's not. Kinda like falling in love - it either happens or not. Period.
I did try to look on line for gowns, but it's not the same. I need to meet them in person and try them on, walk in them, sit in them and figure out how to move in them and, if needed, how much time I have to trim off those last five pounds or so before the event. I guess this is also why match.com would never work for me. On line is not the way to go with a decision this important!!!
This year it wasn't happening for me at any store with any gown. I did find some very pretty gowns or semi formals that would have worked at many boutiques and salons in my area, but none of them was 'the one'. A lot of them were the color black, and I'm so trying to get away from that for a while - I think it was my only color in my closet and for every single formal I attended in high school. Boring.
I promised myself color again this year and thought a nice strapless blue-red would fit the bill. The problem I found was that each 'red' dress I tried on was a nice color but the cut and fit were not for me. One dress was so not me that I had to try it on for a good laugh. I wish I had my cell phone on me (lost it again that whole day) for funny pictures so you could see what horrors some of these designs looked like on me.
Pageant dresses, gowns, blinged out gowns, cut out gowns, fluffy gowns that would put Cinderella to shame - I tried them all on and laughed out loud part of the time and cursed the designer the other half of the time.
"A zipper HERE? I may lose a body part if it goes all the way up!"
"Okay, I got it ON, now how does it come OFF?"
"I cannot breathe and what is this dress doing to my boobs?!"
"I look like a pinata in this multicolored blimp. Ugh!"
As I talked to myself in the dressing room, unable to send text photos to some of my fashion consultant chicky poos, the young lady who worked that dressing room area (to fetch sizes and to ask you every five minutes if you were 'OKAY') finally cut in.
"Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but can I help you?"
I was in the midst of undoing myself from yet another way too tight gown when I opened the door. "Yeah, get me OUT of this thing!!!" We both laughed. She helped me out and we didn't damage the gown, but sometimes these things need two people to put on and off. We discussed that for a while while a huge group of ladies of all sizes and ages descended upon us in the dressing room area. The attendant freaked out - there were like 10 of them with at least 5 dresses per ARM - ready to try them all on!!!
I wished her luck and hung up the gown that I was freed from - and that took me like 5 minutes, at least. I'm telling you, it's a whole day out doing this sort of searching.
The ladies that were joining us were all from the same family, so I heard. They also doubled up in the dressing rooms 'for fun' and when a dress didn't work, they gave it to another gal in another room. It was chaos!
Occasionally I'd leave my dressing room with a gown on me to see it in the three way mirror with platform and move around, see how it worked and if I liked it. Occasionally, the matriarch of that family of women would say "hey, what size is that?"
Soon, I was passing around dresses that didn't work on me to someone who it would work on. Still, I had no dress of my own. All around me, shrieks of "OH MY GOD, THIS IS IT!" or just shrieks would fill the dressing room area.
The last dress I tried on that day was spectacular looking. Amazing. Glorious. Perfect. A size 4??? Why did I pick this one up when CLEARLY it was not my size? Sigh.
It is a thick satin material of an olive green light coloring that just shimmers in the light. The cut is strapless and shapely - but the best thing about the dress is the tasteful lariat of crystals and thick lace design that sweeps from the middle of my back to the front across my chest area in front. Perfect for a 39 year old, not too prom-y - not trying to be younger - just perfect for me, my shape and my skin color. I was in love. I wanted this gown!
I glanced over at the rack of my leftover reject gowns and back at the most perfect gown ever - and decided to try it on for the heck of it. No, I couldn't zip it up and no, it didn't fit me (this isn't a Disney blog, you know!) but I wished there was a larger size that I would fit in. I realized that I really, really liked this gown. My heart sunk into my stomach.
Getting re-dressed in my normal life clothes, I took all the gowns on hangers that weren't taken by the other women from my room and brought them out to the attendant. I asked if there was a larger size, maybe, hiding somewhere. "No, no, these are all we have - everything is out on the floor."
The rack where I found the gown originally was being picked over and over by other women who apparently have some ball or event to go to soon as well. I even checked the other dressing room across the way, to no avail. I was just about to give up when I saw the same color as the gown I had liked near the register, on a rolling rack of gowns to go back, I assumed.
I asked the cashier if these gowns were on hold or if it was okay for me to check it out. She didn't seem to mind and said she didn't have time to sort them out at the moment. Grabbing the only gown I wanted, to my joy, it was the same dress and it didn't look like a tiny size either - it was - a size 12? What? Running to the dressing room again, I tried it on - and it fit - although it's a little loose in some areas, but that can be fixed. I was so happy that I jumped up and down! My dress!!! I spent more than a few minutes twirling around in it, showing the other ladies in the dressing room what I had found - they were as happy as I was. We were all glittery, beautiful women very happy in our princess attire! It was so cool!
The attendant helped fit the dress for me and it's now undergoing the alterations needed for it to be MY dress - my PERFECT gown for this year. I was thrilled! All that work being tangled up in other gowns, being literally stuck in some gowns actually paid off that day. And the good news is that it's not an actual size 12, per the cashier, she claims it was not sized correctly. I like her, she's so nice to me! LOL! I really don't care what size the dress is, wrong or not, I know that I don't have to lose any weight for it, I can breathe in it and I look like a million bucks when I put it on.
Waiting to pick it up and try it on again at the alterations area at the store is now the hardest thing to do. Sigh. I love shopping!
1 comment:
As a male writer, I need to know how "chicky Poo's" look at life and fashion. Thank you for helping me with that perspective, Roland
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